Wherein Dastardly Rumors Abound
by SurprisedbyJoy
Summary: In which our favourite HMC characters are thoroughly confused as to rumors floating up from the east, saying that Howl is strong and silent, Sophie grey haired, and Michael having a weird name.


Hallo everyone! Greetings from the good old US of A. This is my first Howl's Moving Castle fic (don't be alarmed) and something that has been meaning to get written for a long time. I first read Howl's Moving Castle two years ago this summer when I lived at the beach and had nothing to do when there were too many tourists around. It's taken me two years to get around to publishing a fan fic for one of my very favorite books, but here you are—I hope this helps boost the DWJ section a bit.

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of Howl's Moving Castle or any of Diana Wynne Jones' work. This is purely intended as entertainment and I make nothing from it._

Without further ado, I give you: Wherein Dastardly Rumors Abound.

**Chapter The First.**

The moving castle rumbled peacefully over the hills south of Ingary. It meandered it's way slowly over each rise, pausing as if to take a look back at the city. The inhabitants were long gone for the day; even the fire demon was out on a jaunt, presumably to pull a prank on someone or another.

Sophie decided she'd had enough. She looked back at the moving castle, and decided to catch up with it, bedraggled flowers in one hand and part of her skirt in another. The flowers were for Mrs. Regent, who actually wanted a "few" bouquets of roses, but Sophie had gathered a scrawny handful before she was utterly fed up. Why? Because all morning she had been rehashing that ridiculous rumor that was floating through her head. Up and down, up and down as she had picked enough bouquets to fill the back of the shop (till Mrs. Regent came in).

Rounding the next crest of the hill, Sophie continued on till she was nearly at the moving castle, and just continued to walk beside it as it listlessly floated along. She just needed time to clear her head, and hoped the exercise would do her good.

BANG. Sophie jumped, tossing the bouquet with such a start that petals came raining down. Howl brushed some smoke off his sleeves and grinned. "This was rather uncalled for," he said, frowning at the petals floating down around them, "But very romantic, I must say."

"Gracious, Howl, why do you consider a bang necessary?" Sophie said, slightly miffed. Howl had come back earlier than he was expected, which was nice, and which also meant he had slithered out of the king's grasp.

"You already know the answer to that, love," Howl laughed, "Life wouldn't nearly be as exciting without a few bangs."

Sophie shrugged. "I am happy you're back early. How did you manage to escape?"

Howl shook his head, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Those ridiculous rumors. You know, I thought they'd be the death of me at first. But when it comes to royal matters, they are quite useful. The king was so confused that he ordered me away for the day. Or perhaps the week."

"Anything new?" Sophie asked, as they continued to follow the moving castle.

"Not really, no. Hah, I do believe Michael is a bit miffed though-nothing has been said of him in the whole matter."

"He should consider himself lucky."

"Yes, he should. However, little does he know, a rumor will mysteriously surface which states he's actually a 100 year old dwarf on the run from an army of waterfowl," Howl chuckled. "I can't wait to see his face."

Sophie smiled and tried to stifle a laugh. "Sometimes, I just don't know what to say to you."

"That's not a problem. I know you're laughing," grinned Howl. The moving castle had stopped, and Sophie stopped as well just before Howl would've run straight into a particularly sharp looking brick. Calcifer smiled wickedly, appearing around the side. "Really, Sophie, you shouldn'tve stopped. Might've knocked some sense into his head."

Sophie shook her red gold hair. "I'll let you two argue about sense. I, for one, am headed indoors. And Howl, you might want to take those ridiculous petals off the back of your suit."

HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC

"Rumors? What rumors?" Lettie exclaimed, holding onto Sophie's arm as they walked through the garden.

"Oh, it's just silly foreign stuff. I really don't know how they got ahold of it, but really, it should have stopped before it reached here," sighed Sophie, stepping over a daffodil. "You see, in one of the kingdoms to the east, the story of the whole Prince Justin and your Ben fiasco spread. Well, being imaginative, I suppose, they sort've reinvented it so it's a fantastical tale of great black birds, friendly scarecrows, and a flying castle that looks more like a broom factory."

Lettie laughed in disbelief. "They'd make a story up about YOU? Who would ever want to do that?"

"I've no idea! Surely we aren't that exciting. I mean, I thought it was exciting at the time, but I didn't think anybody would be taken with it."

"You mentioned Ben? Are we in this whole rumor/ludicrous tale?"

"I'm not sure, but I think so. Anyways, all I know at the moment is that they think Howl is a powerful sorcerer who changes into a big black bird to help stop the war. Not only the big black bird thing, but apparently he's simply lovely and the strong and silent type."

Lettie started laughing, and a few heads in the town where they had made their way to, turned. "That has got to be the worst of the rumor."

Sophie turned them around again, so as not to be spotted by the passerby. "I know. I'm afraid there's more about me. You see, I overheard someone discussing me as a little brown haired, brown eyed girl who, after being turned into an old woman, kept the grey hair."

Lettie made a face. "Grey hair? Couldn't they choose another color?"

"I guess their imagination ran out just before that," said Sophie, "And really, I hope that's the end of it. If I hear one more thing about how sad and pitiful Howl's supposed life is supposed to be, I'll scream."

~HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC

"My question is, how do you know all these rumors?" Martha frowned, one hand resting on her chin and the other on the kitchen counter of the moving castle.

"Only because it was started by a loony who came here looking for a spell from Howl," Sophie laughed, thinking of the memory...

~HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC

Howl sat up. Rather, he tried to. Something was binding his arms and his legs, something twisting and unbearably hot. For the life of him, he could not figure out what it was. The wizard suddenly woke up with a start as he began to tumble out of bed. So that's what had startled him-a banging on the door. And no Calcifer around to get it. Howl disentangled himself from the sheets and ungracefully fell the rest of the way to the floor.

"Hullo?" he said, frowning, as he realized at the same exact moment that (A) this stranger was wearing an elaborate headdress of bird feathers and (B) it was still early enough to be dark out. A wizard should never be forced out of one's bed when it's still dark out.

"May I see Sorcerer Howl please?" the feathered stranger asked. Well, this was a new one, thought Howl. Sounded a bit better than "Sorcerer Jenkins."

"This is he," replied Howl, leaning against the doorpost, "May I ask who you are? And why you're here in the middle of the night?"

"No, no, I want to see the REAL Sorcerer Howl," the... thing... insisted.

"There's none other besides me, I'm very sure..." Howl yawned. This stranger was awfully persistent. Maybe he should tell them he had a wife who was fairly good with a frying pan?

"Stop fooling around. I shall see the Sorcerer Howl and see him at once. I have an incurable malady," the stranger said, poking Howl in the chest.

Howl felt indignant. "Exactly WHOM do you think this Sorcerer Howl is?"

"I know for a fact he looks much different than you. He has almost shoulder length blonde or black hair and is so skinny and tall that he could fit through the eye of a needle. He also has a deep, soulful voice. Nothing like yours," the stranger said, very matter-a-factually. Two feathers from the headdress fluttered down. "Yours is far too... strange... and up and down like. Sorcerer Howl's sounds much more proper."

"Is that so? Thank you ever so much for informing me, Madam or Sir," Howl said.

"I SAID, I have an incurable malady!" the being nearly shrieked at him. Howl could feel Sophie and Calcifer behind him, watching. The wizard also got a feeling that Sophie was holding a fairly good size frying pan.

"And I SAID, I am Sorcerer Howl and I do not like being disturbed in the middle of the night. I am also not a doctor. You'd best go find one, if I were you," Howl said, thoroughly bothered, starting to close the door.

"Very well, young man, but you haven't seen the last of me. In fact, I shall report that you're covering up a dirty secret about the Sorcerer. It's all very suspicious. You could even have a body here," the thing replied as it ambled off into the night.

"Good night," muttered Howl, as he firmly closed the door. And locked it. And double checked it again, just to be sure. Calcifer had flown up the chimney, apparently to see what the stranger was up to, and a whoosh could be heard in the night as he departed.

"Well," said Howl, leaning back against the door and turning to Sophie, frying pan in hand, "That was eventful."

~HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC ~ HMC

_A/N: thanks ever so much for reading—it's been my pleasure to write. Should you care enough about it to review, I would be delighted. _


End file.
